Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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