Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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