The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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