Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
