Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
