I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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