Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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