Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize