We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
