I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
