Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
