She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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