If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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