We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
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she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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