AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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