Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
