This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
