bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
