Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
