Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
