So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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