some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
