erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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