Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if only i could text you this smell
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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