explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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