I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
