dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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