This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize