Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize