i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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