That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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