1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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