At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You are a genius and a whore.
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