He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
