my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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