The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
