I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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