Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy