Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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