What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
