dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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