DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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