Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
