i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
