is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
this is an emotional support booty call
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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