Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
