Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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