apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she looked like the before picture.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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