her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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