She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
