Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
