I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
