You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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