i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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