I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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