If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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