I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
this is an emotional support booty call
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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