Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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