Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
