You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
