I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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