New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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