I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
