im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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